Fixers: post-election thoughts
by Christopher Norris, with image by Martin Gollan
Now the year was twenty-twenty
And the times were looking bad,
For although the rich had plenty
They clung tight to what they had.
There were rich folk in big houses,
There were poor folk on the street,
And the rich said 'stuff your grouses,
Hit the food-banks: loads to eat!'
For the rich folk ran the shitshow
And they ran it like a dream,
Like a ‘seventies pop hit-show
With a screw-the-people theme.
They fixed the courts, they fixed the press,
They fixed who made the grade,
And fixed the tax-laws so the less
You earned, the more you paid.
They sent their kids to public schools
So talking posh would hide
The fact that most were pompous fools –
Big heads with zilch inside.
They fixed the Beeb, got friends to fill
The highest admin slots,
And fixed the tales to push or kill
When boss-man called the shots.
They fixed their Tory sleepers deep
Within the Labour fold,
Those Rat-van-Winkles primed to sleep
Then squeal as they were told.
Their tales were false, their lies the kind
An idiot could see through,
Unless by some trick of the mind
That twisted thoughts askew.
But now we've got them figured out,
Wised up to all their tricks,
For though they have the money-clout
There's things that we can fix.
We'll strike, we'll fight, we'll spread dissent
And get them on the run,
For we out-match the one percent
We'll fight to save the NHS,
We'll fight to save the poor,
And if they’ve made your life a mess
We’ll lay it at their door.
But first we'll nail the lies and crimes
Of those who pulled it off,
The monster con-trick of our times
That hatched a monster-toff.
For he’s the very stuff of all
The Tory vices rolled
Into one giant-sized wrecking-ball
To leave us in the cold.
Yet still we fight, and still the swine
Hang on to what they stole,
And still the tabloids say it's fine
When gangsters take control.
So watch your backs, you devil's spawn,
You and your Eton mates,
For we've the brains as well as brawn
To pick your padlocked gates.
We’ll spark revolt on your front-lawn,
Stage Putney-style debates,
And greet the day of our Red Dawn
As your day terminates.
Christopher Norris is Distinguished Research Professor in Philosophy at the University of Cardiff. He is the author of more than thirty books on aspects of philosophy, politics, literature, the history of ideas, and music.