By Ness Sadri
“This is England you know, this is a Christian country!”
I hear those words not directed at me but at the new owners – a Muslim family – of a little gift shop in our town.
I listen and freeze.
Did she just say this to me? A mixed race person whose dad comes from a predominantly Muslim country.
The person who two months ago stood in front of her heartbroken telling her how much she and her dad were suffering?
Why would she say this? Why to me? Did I somehow show I was against Muslims?
Like a painful current it dawned on me: does she think because I wear a cross I am denouncing Islam?
In seconds, my shield against Islamophobia became a heavy burden.
I wore it for my own spiritual reasons and to act as a protectant, maybe that was cowardly but at the point of writing ‘Roundabouts‘ I was emotionally drained by offhand comments, blatant racism, and hateful language.
I was afraid for my safety.
So, as I get up this morning, I am debating with myself: do I wear my cross or leave it at home?
Maybe, I am now at the point where I no longer care what bigots like her think of me.
I am no longer afraid.
I am defiant!
