By Jim Aitken
The reporter fella oan the nicht news
said thit the Middle East is jist the maist
turbulend place in the hail o’ the warld.
Ah agreed wi’ him but the fella didnae
say why this wis. Ah thocht o’ aw the eil
thit comes frae the place. Sairly thon’s why?
Big Don decidet tae tak Venezuela’s eil
an’ noo he wahnts Iran’s eil, an’ ‘cos he
wahnts it so tae does yon fella Pete Heidcase.
He’s Big Don’s Secretar’ for War an’ he tellt us
thit the Iranians are ‘rats’ for hidin’ unnergroon.
But is it no’ whit abody wid dae if bombs fa’ doon?
Big Don cried them ‘scumbags’ an’ ah thocht thit
the first casualty o’ war is ayeways langwij.
Naebody oan the news taks them up for this.
Seems they’re tae feart tae say onythin’ aboot them
but ah’m gaun back tae Plato an’ his philosopher
kings, ‘cos these twa cuddies are leadin’ us tae hell.
