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Home Blog Arts Hub

Handy Andy

Handy Andy

18 July 2026 /Posted byChris Norris
Post Views: 443

Photo: Wikicommons

By Chris Norris

I’m Handy Andy, I’m your man
When urgent jobs need doin’,
Like sticking to the Osborne plan
To save the rich from ruin.

Or doing everything I can,
When some new war’s a’brewin’,
To ratchet up the demo-ban
With gaols for them to stew in.

Labour Together, they’re my clan,
The guys who fixed my shoe-in,
Tipped me the wink and soon began
To get the bankers cooing.

When Starmer’s act went down the pan
They said ‘we’ll soon have you in,
Make wobbly Wes our also-ran:
Not enough shades of blue in!’

And then there’s Israel – no big fan
With that God-awful crew in,
But well, you know, there’s worse things than
An arms fair to debut in.

The plebs think I’m their Daring Dan
Who’ll stop the bosses screwin’
Their lives up yet again, but scan
My words: see what’s ensuing!

I’ll keep the old press caravan
To air some feelgood view in,
But stuff it in the garbage can
Once Morgan’s there to cue in.

Tags: Andy Burnham, Manchesterism
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About Author

Chris Norris

Christopher Norris is Distinguished Research Professor in Philosophy at the University of Cardiff. He is the author of more than thirty books on aspects of philosophy, politics, literature, the history of ideas, and music.

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