Commons Image
By Violet White
(Andy Burnham’s Register of Interests (c.£350,000) released 18th August 2026
following his unelected ascent to Prime Minister in July, reveals remarkable
continuity with Keir Starmer’s donors before him….)
Andy looms, benign new screensaver,
scene-changer, feint for the faint-hearted seeking
hearts-ease, unwilling to believe the state of the state
we’re in. The Fixers, hoping (vainly, foolishly, hubristically)
for reprieve from LINO annihilation (and, more importantly,
the consequent disaster of The Project’s failure), speedily
stitch-up a suitable shape-shift, realigning behind
Smiley-Face (cardboard) Cutout replacing
Prep School Head (cardboard) Cutout, hastily retired.
Official Portrait of Andy Burnham, Open Govt Licence v3.0
Official Portrait of Sir Keir Starmer, 2024 Open Govt Licence v3.0.
Enter Mission ‘Save the Day’: maintain project, shed image’.
Replace turgidly reheated word-stew short on meat
with light-touch tossed salad lacking sustenance.
Depose Serious Bland Suit (become offensive)
for Your Bland (as yet inoffensive) Mate Andy.
Eliminate Home Counties Obdurate Bureaucrat;
Install Regionally-Accented Boy-Next-Door with Profile.
A tasty geezer makeover designed to cut the mustard;
the condiments re-flavouring the Head Chef’s (strictly protected)
original dish, kept covertly intact beneath the condiments.
Andy Burnham as Mayor of Manchester, by Scottish Govt CC by 2.0
What a surprise, (though not for those with seasoned palates,
wise to the Corporate ‘Security’ State’s shenanigans) to discover
the cheery chappie’s receipts. To see that, as suspected, behind
Andy’s smiley Red Hood, as behind Keir’s austere, lurks the same
old imperialist Wolf, hungry – as we’ve long understood – to fatten
itself on our flesh, devour our spirits (still resistant to evil despite
their best efforts to apostasise us), continue assisting Israel in the
Genocide of Palestinians, and protect themselves from our demands
for accountability. Happy too, it seems, to risk blowing us to Kingdom
Come (it will and they’d better believe it) for Trump and Netanyahu.
Andy’s made his bed with the Arms Dealer Class.
Just like Keir. His mess of pottage is behind and before him,
Apparently an easy trade – though perilous to the Faith
in which he was raised – the bird in the hand seemingly
weightier than his Soul – even in the face of Genocide –
which doesn’t say much for the man.
